Oftentimes, we may find ourselves torn between the desire to “belong” and the need to be authentic. This feeling is not uncommon, especially for women who may feel pressure to conform in order to be accepted in their working world. But here's the thing, the reason you may not be thriving in your career is because you are seeking to “belong”, rather than “being”. It's a dilemma that has profound implications for one's career and personal growth. In this blog, we'll explore why seeking to belong can hinder your career progression and why, instead, showing up different with your difference is the key to making a difference and thriving in your career.

To truly understand the concept, let's start with the definition of "belonging." It means “having the right personal or social qualities to be a member of a particular group”. It implies fitting in, conforming to the norms and expectations set by that group. Many people believe that to succeed in their careers, they must blend in seamlessly, becoming indistinguishable from their colleagues. So in an attempt to blend in they may conform or code-switch in and effort to mask the essence of who they are (including the professional value they bring to the table) or even hide what they truly desire for their careers.

Conforming and code-switching might seem like the path of least resistance, but it often comes at a steep cost. When you dilute your value, suppress your authentic voice, and prioritize fitting in to belong, you risk losing the very essence that makes you a valuable asset to your organization. You become just another cog in the machine, indistinguishable from the rest of the stars, and your potential for impact diminishes.

John Maxwell’s  insight is illuminating and he put it best when he said, "Difference makers are different." In other words, to make a difference and have an impact in your career, you have to be bold enough to show up differently with your difference. Embracing and owning your unique qualities and strengths can help you stand out in a sea of stars and bring fresh perspectives and innovation to old problems.  

On the other hand, when you embrace your authenticity, you become a beacon of individuality in a sea of conformity. Your unique perspective, skills, and experiences become your greatest assets. You stand out not by trying to be different for the sake of it, but by being true to yourself. And in doing so, you attract opportunities, recognition, and connections that align with your values and aspirations, and can lead to more meaningful collaborations and partnerships.  Another benefit of authenticity is that it can help you stay motivated and engaged in your work. When we are doing work that aligns with our values and interests, we are more likely to be fulfilled and energized. This can lead to higher productivity, better job satisfaction, and overall career success.  Finally, it is important to note that authenticity does not mean being unprofessional or disrespectful. It means being true to yourself while also respecting the norms and rules of your industry. It means finding ways to express your unique qualities and perspectives in a way that adds value to the work you are doing.

In your career journey, the choice between belonging and being authentic is a pivotal one. Instead of seeking to “belong” in your career, instead seek to belong to yourself so that you can be authentic in your career.  Brene Brown's quote boldly encapsulates this idea about belonging as "Being part of something bigger but also having the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else." This highlights a crucial point – when you belong to yourself, you're not trying to conform or compromise your values and authenticity to fit into a particular group or culture. Instead, you're bringing your whole, unique self to the table and the rooms where your career journey gets defined.

So, if you are looking to thrive in your working world, it is important to focus on being authentic rather than seeking to “belong” to fit in. Embrace your unique qualities and perspectives and find ways to express them in a way that adds value to your work. Remember, “difference makers are different”, and it is our individuality that will help us stand out and make a meaningful impact in our careers. So, go ahead and show up differently with your difference, and watch your career soar!

Are you ready to take that B.O.L.D. step in your career? I created a free resource to help you jumpstart your process — The Career Success Playbook. Get your copy here

My name is Georgia Wolfe-Samuels, a Career Impact and Personal Branding Strategist who helps women to navigate their working worlds with courage and confidence so they can build thriving careers. Need help to take charge of your personal brand, and designing your BOLD career, visit www.georgiawolfesamuels.com for additional resources. Let’s connect if you have questions. My handle is @georgiawolfesamuels on IG and Linkedin social media sites.